two-headed wingnuts

Daily Show notes that Sarah Palin is now playing the gender card… and other flip flops.

president pryor

Check out the featured video in the upper right corner. Saturday Night Live classic. Richard Pryor as first black president of the USA. Funny, and not much has changed…

Seinfeld reflects on Carlin

Jerry Seinfeld writes an obit for George Carlin in the NY Times:

Dying Is Hard. Comedy Is Harder.

JERRY SEINFELD

Published: June 24, 2008

THE honest truth is, for a comedian, even death is just a premise to make jokes about. I know this because I was on the phone with George Carlin nine days ago and we were making some death jokes. We were talking about Tim Russert and Bo Diddley and George said: “I feel safe for a while. There will probably be a break before they come after the next one. I always like to fly on an airline right after they’ve had a crash. It improves your odds.”

I called him to compliment him on his most recent special on HBO. Seventy years old and he cranks out another hour of great new stuff. He was in a hotel room in Las Vegas getting ready for his show. He was a monster.

You could certainly say that George downright invented modern American stand-up comedy in many ways. Every comedian does a little George. I couldn’t even count the number of times I’ve been standing around with some comedians and someone talks about some idea for a joke and another comedian would say, “Carlin does it.” I’ve heard it my whole career: “Carlin does it,” “Carlin already did it,” “Carlin did it eight years ago.”

And he didn’t just “do” it. He worked over an idea like a diamond cutter with facets and angles and refractions of light. He made you sorry you ever thought you wanted to be a comedian. He was like a train hobo with a chicken bone. When he was done there was nothing left for anybody.

But his brilliance fathered dozens of great comedians. I personally never cared about “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television,” or “FM & AM.” To me, everything he did just had this gleaming wonderful precision and originality.

I became obsessed with him in the ’60s. As a kid it seemed like the whole world was funny because of George Carlin. His performing voice, even laced with profanity, always sounded as if he were trying to amuse a child. It was like the naughtiest, most fun grown-up you ever met was reading you a bedtime story.

I know George didn’t believe in heaven or hell. Like death, they were just more comedy premises. And it just makes me even sadder to think that when I reach my own end, whatever tumbling cataclysmic vortex of existence I’m spinning through, in that moment I will still have to think, “Carlin already did it.”

George Carlin defines the First Amendment

George goes onto the next. Here’s one of his best known routines. The 7 words you can’t say on TV. Thanks George:

the elitist menace among us

Ridicule is the best weapon.

giving the finger properly like a good American

Not to beat a dead horse, but to beat a dead horse, I’m still not sure why so many dim bulbs got upset about Obama not actually flipping the finger but thinking he did.

Flipping the bird is as American as Mom, apple pie, Hell’s Angels, Fruit Loops and serial killers. My complaint is that if Obama really did hoist a digit at Hillary, it was friggin’ lame.

Here’s a sample of how to properly tell people to go fuck themselves without actually saying a word.

If you’re preznit, you have to give the bird whilst also distracting people from it, lest you look undignified, or are mistaken for a common person. Holding a cute lap dog is a good way.

Another good way of flipping the bird is to do it while walking away, like you are waving, but with that extra twist that says: “gent bent jag off!” I’m partial to the behind the back digit wave (it’s all in the wrist) but this works too:


The thing about being a cartoon character is that you can flip the bird, and no one cares. Cause no one expects a cartoon character to be important, or smart, or president of the most powerful nation on the planet.

And, it’s no easy task giving the finger when you have only one.

Think about that for awhile.

grass roots

the fabulous furry freak brothers movie is on the way. love it. one of my all time fav comics. it’ll be stop animation, like Wallace and Gromit. here’s a test trailer:

fugu tuesday

Syncronicity is the oddest thing… this morning a friend sends me a link to a clip from a classic Simpson’s episode. The one where Homer eats fugu, poisonous blowfish at a sushi restaurant. Just an hour ago, I went and got my haircut and the young Japanese stylist and I were talking and (without any prompting) she told me that her father was a chef in Tokyo and his specialty was fugu. If it were anything but fugu, I’d toss it off as coincidence… funny. Order amongst the chaos…

Anyway, here’s the clip. Enjoy:


via videosift.com

ciao tucker and other stuff for a monday

  • Why it took MSNBC so long to cancel Tucker Carlson is a mystery. His ratings have been bottom barrel consistently since launch and Carlson managed by sheer force of arrogance, personality and intellectual flatulence to produce one of the most routinely mundane, prosaic and mendacious shows on the air. Not to mention that he openly supprted terror and proffered a general perspective towards the free press that can be best described as totalitarian. Jon Stewart was right.
  • Bill Maher notes that it would be impossible for George W. Bush to be in any way behind the 9/11 plot for the simple fact that Bush is a moron. But, of course, all good plots need a fool. Just sayin’.
  • Glenn Greenwald links to fellow former Jakeneck grad Julian Sanchez’s excellent analysis and “dissection” of the GOP talking points regarding the FISA issue. Really essential reading…
  • more mormon mania

    This picture of Mitt Romney’s five sons got me thinking about some New Rules. (with apologies to Bill Maher, who is out with a bad case of Writer’s Strike.)


    New rule: If you are white, upper middle class and Mormon, you don’t get to “throw up” like you are a gangsta thug and have people think you are a dog. Especially when you are wearing a vest with no shirt or a fanny pack. It doesn’t make you a rebel, it makes you a tool. Just ask K Fed.

    mitt meets manson

    Tbogg noticed the similarity between the Mittboys new choice of t-shirt with dad’s puss on it, and thought it resembled the popular Che Guevera design.


    But, my first reaction was a bit different. This is what came to mind:

    dumberness as art form

    Whenever I want to find out what the current lies on a given topic might be, I head on over to the house that inbreeding built. And, it would seem, so do others. Just like McDonald’s, ‘ol Bob Owens can be counted upon to provide a consistent product. And, for those of us who crave it, Supersize just won’t do.

    And, here’s some extra credit for those in need of the backstory on one of Gomer Owens favorite topics.

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